New Life

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the Master calls a butterfly." Richard Bach

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Color Therapy

We drink in the colors of Autumn while the girls earn a Keepers at Home hiking pin.
And I pursue my Simple Praises... for the healing therapy that only nature can give.  I sure did need this.

#133- Inhaling...Breathing deeply

#134- Spatterings and flashes of pigments, tints and hues in a wild abandon

#135- Winding paths




#136- The way the sun hits the trees and leaves in splashes of color



#137- How you can see something so beautiful in between railings of a rusty old bridge...

#138-  A beaver dam
 #139- purples, pinks, and blues...
 #140- the fragrance of the trail in Autumn


I Chronicles 29:11
   Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; you ore exalted as head over all.
#141- lingering

#142- a burst of intense orange

#143- majestic displays
 
Psalm 66:4
   All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name.


 #144- little fellers....


 #145- unrestrained daisies...just when I thought all the flowers were gone...


#146- #151- priceless treasures...



 #152-#155- and precious friends.....
Photo by Jessica
#156- Exhaling :)



Friday, October 8, 2010

Simple Praises


It started when my husband was diagnosed.  My best friends provided for me to go to a ladies retreat.  I think it saved my life.  The speaker, Rachel Carmen,  said "Write down all the 'Plagues of Your Life' that God has carried you through."  And so I did.  I wrote everyone of them down. The big ones.

I was so taken aback after following through with the exercise that I purposed myself to begin a gratitude journal right then and there.  That was five years ago and I haven't stopped. 

I didn't call it a Gratitude Journal.  The title on the first beat up spiral notebook says 'Blessings' on it.  But that is what it is.  As I look through them now, I can see a difference in my thinking then and my thinking now.   I realize that the things (or persons) I am most thankful for were repeated over the years.   And they were usually big things...at least of that moment or that day.

I never numbered them and never thought to until I read about Ann's gratitude journal.  I have no regrets and know that these journals saved me many days.  Some days I struggled to be grateful.....  Funny how it becomes easier as you do it.

 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

What I am learning this year is that it isn't always the 'big' things that produce gratefulness in me.

Mostly it is the small things in the day that I value so much when the day as a whole seems so ordinary.   After learning about the gratitude community, I realized that I too want to recognize daily the small endless blessings from God, intentionally.  Those things that you can miss if you are not looking for them.  And really, they are already there, waiting to be noticed.  And really it is the small things that make up the big things.

"The best things are nearest: breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of God just before you."
Robert Louis Stevenson

I also want to teach this attitude of gratefulness to my girls so that they will see it too.  I can't imagine what a different person I would be if I had known then what I know now...and also, I want to pay it forward somehow.



I decided to start a fresh.  For several reasons.  I see the power it gives me in my life.  Just to recognize these small simple tokens and expressions of love.

It transforms your thinking when you are constantly looking for His gifts and purposing yourself to look up and out....   particularly when things aren't always going as I plan or wish...   It makes you look at everything differently.  Like having your eyes widened.  Or like having a film peeled off your eyes.  It helps you to see things more clearly.  To see Him more clearly. 

When I started rummaging through my closet looking for these old blessing journals, I found a pretty celestial decorated journal that was my mom's.  I had bought it for her before she died.  It was never used.  I didn't even know I had it.  It was like it was waiting for me, after all these years, to find.


So I begin my journey.  This time, more refined.......I cannot wait to discover what I will learn from it....and I can't wait until I get to a 1,000!

Thank you Lord for.....
1-- the smells of little girls
2-- sleep and the slow rise from sleep to wake
3-- a good friend to run with and
4-- burning lungs
5-- Finding George MacDonald

"The careless soul receives the Father's gifts as if it were a way things had of dropping into his hand... yet he is ever complaining, as if someone were accountable for the problems which meet him at every turn. For the good that comes to him, he gives no thanks - who is there to thank? At the disappointments that befall him he grumbles - there must be someone to blame!"
George MacDonald

6-- breathing deeply
7-- the Most Beautiful Woman I Know
8-- the opportunity to serve dinner in a homeless shelter
and
9-- seeing humbleness and awkwardness in my girl's faces when they too served
and
10-- even Gabrielle, at four, who exclaimed a little too loudly, "You mean they don't have houses?!?!!"

"How rich is anyone who can simply see human faces."
Corrie Ten Boom

11-- our old worn out vehicles that still run
12-- My new book I am reading, Sabbath 

"Who is it that can make muddy water clear? asks the Tao Te Ching.  But if allowed to remain still, it will gradually become clear itself." Wayne Muller  Sabbath 

13-- Memorizing the Beatitudes with my girls... and learning.....

 "He said blessed are.  Not "they will one day be blessed, "  but they are blessed right now.  The poor are blessed, even in their poverty.  Those who mourn are blessed, even in their grief.  The meek, the merciful, even those who are persecuted--blessed, blessed, blessed.  Not later.  Not when their trials are over.  Not when they are fixed.  Right here, right now.  There is a blessing for you here, now, in this very moment."
Wayne Muller Sabbath

14-- Bubbles...

15-- Winnie The Pooh... 

"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think.  Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called.  ~A.A. Milne





holy experience


Wanna come too?
 From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another.
John 1:16

Friday, September 17, 2010

He's Got the Whole World in His Hands.

She picked a really good book from the library this week.  
I am amazed at how so many things I have encountered and observed this last week, month, and the last of summer worked together and pointed in the same direction as the week unfolded.
And it all was revealed through this song.

The book came with a cd and I played it, opened the book, and snuggled up tightly to her 4 year old frame.  We sit under a map of the world in a sea of blue. 

The woman on the cd sang the words and it felt like my heart started beating softer and slower so I could hear better as I listened to her simple words.  Words I remember singing a long time ago.
I wonder if her little heart hears what I hear.   The morning light streams in softly through the window as we listen and sing.

He's got the whole world in His hands,
He's got the whole world in His hands.

I have been keeping up with bloggers this week who went to Guatemala and were transformed by genuine poverty and authentic love.  They helped transform me too through their eyes and their words.  Words like these enable you to see God in everything.

"He's got the whole world....in his hands"

They helped me see that He holds the broken hearted in His hands.  I read Ann's words and I think I actually stopped breathing for several moments.  I read it out loud to my 13 and 10 year old girls and we unraveled it together.
My oldest had to continue reading as I couldn't see the story through the blur of tears or read the words as my throat constricted.  You know how you feel when you can't swallow (but you must), when your throat tightens and burns.  I think my daughter stopped breathing too,  for a moment.  It was the moms that got me.
The whole world.....

He holds those who ask God to  "Come By Here"As I listened to his song looking at the pictures of Guatemala, seeing such deprivation through their picture window camera and comprehending (or trying to) their words that detailed the experience, it became my own experience.  I wonder just how many other people went to Guatemala like I did this week.

The song reminded me of the song "Kum Ba Yah".  I sang this to all 3 of my girls when they were babies.  It wasn't until my youngest was born that I researched it a little and discovered that "Kum Ba Yah" is an African-American spiritual song from the 1930's that means "Come By Here."

My girls would quiet and welcome...
"Someone's crying Lord, Kum Ba Yah (Come By Here)...  Someone's praying Lord, Kum Ba Yah (Come By Here)... Someone's singing,  Lord, Kum Ba Yah (Come By Here) ...Oh Lord, Kum Ba Yah"
It is like singing a prayer.

Even though I know it wasn't the same as being there in Guatemala, in some small way, I went too.
And I did see that He's really got the whole world in His hands even though it can be difficult to see His big picture in what appears abandoned and dejected.  I am turned inside out knowing that I can get that from mere words and pictures. 

Honest poverty where there isn't anything but prayer.

Seeing Mommys (like me) holding together their nests with only walls of tin and and not much else.    And here I sit with so much.  I never thought of myself as wealthy before. 

I am so thankful.

I went through my daughters' clothes the other day to see what they need for the fall and felt almost guilty for such abundance.  Most of it is used, hand me downs from sisters or bought at a yard sale; but it is royal compared to what hangs from knots on rigged clothes lines in these pictures.....


She sings,
He's got my brothers and my sisters in His hands.

It isn't very often I see this.  I caught them reading together Monday.  Sisters.  Their legs entwined and relaxed.  Teaching, reading, experiencing.....  Loving.  (How can I bottle this up and share it with them when they bicker?) I can almost see His fingers cuddling them.  They want for nothing right now.  Can they see that?  How can I show that to them?    ...With a million kisses?   ...By counting raindrops, books,  warm blankies,  and everyday ordinary blessings?
...By pointing them to Him and by showing them other people who point up?

How blessed we are.

He's got the whole world in His hands.

He's got the sun and the rain in His hands,
I have seen the son in the rain thanks to The Most Beautiful Woman I Know.

News of more unrelenting cancer this month disheartens me.

"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." Psalm 112:7

My soul has been pierced and penetrated by her testimony again and again .....  His words through her.  My perspective has been forever changed.  My heart will never be the same.

I still see her in His hands.... although not always the bigger picture.....    because  I am so blind, busy and oblivious most of the time and because I just don't understand why.
Seeing her suffering tears my heart right out.  But glimpses of His face in hers heals it.  I just need to look.  Doesn't He command us to look?  .....Lord, open my eyes.....

"Always be joyful." 1 Thessalonians 5:16

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."
1 Thessalonians 5:18
I am taking a class on The Screwtape Letters at my church.  "The story takes the form of a series of letters from a senior demon, Screwtape, to his nephew, a junior tempter named Wormwood, so as to advise him on methods of securing the damnation of a British man, known only as "the Patient".  In The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis provides a series of lessons in the importance of taking a deliberate role in living out Christian faith by portraying a typical human life, with all its temptations and failings, as seen from devils' viewpoints."  (Wikipedia)

The adversary distracts us in the ordinary and the common.  He uses the busyness of cleaning the house or being hungry or seeing the same things every day, day in and day out... dulling our senses.
I see how the the many distractions of a mother's life can deaden us to be shallow and not to go deep and look for Him.  Sometimes I feel accomplished just to get through the day.....

Screwtape told Wormwood to distract his Patient.  I found it profound that  it wasn't a huge matter that took 'the Patient' away from thinking about God.....  It was a hunger pain.  It was trivial and ordinary. Wow.

The instructor is excellent and spoke about God's '2 Words' tonight;
Scripture 
and 
Nature
and how Scripture is the spectacles we use to see.  That God gave us scriptures to view all He created so we can see Him.  All of creation points to Him. 
"For as the aged, or those whose sight is defective, when any book, however fair, is set before them, though they perceive that there is something written, are scarcely able to make out two consecutive words, but, when aided by glasses, begin to read distinctly, so Scripture, gathering together the impressions of Deity, which, till then, lay confused in our minds, dissipates the darkness, and shows us the true God clearly."  John Calvin
She sings...
He's got the moon and the stars in His hands...
As I said goodbye to summer these last few weeks, I tried to capture the heavens, the moon He holds, with my camera.  I couldn't do it justice.

He's got the oceans and the seas in His hands,
I saw Him, this summer,  in the pounding surf,
the dancing waves,


















in the broken shells, and in the unity of friends.
I could smell Him in the salty air and feel His breath in the breeze on my back and the wind in my face. 

He's got the itty bitty baby in His hands.....
I remember this verse from my childhood.
Just this week, I called my dear friend about an unrelated matter and she excitedly told me that she had just got the call.  I could hear the joy in her voice.
They were finally going to be foster parents.  That a baby was ready to be picked up at the hospital and she was scrambling to find everything the little guy would need.  My heart burst for her.  It has been 4 years of waiting.
And He wasn't late.  He was right on time.
Regardless of how long this little boy can stay or the tears he will bring; both joyful and heartbreaking, I know He was saving him for this family.  It isn't random.  Again I see His handiwork,  His designs.

He's got the whole world in His hands.

He's got you and me in His hands, 
(This was my favorite picture in the book)
 Me?  Me.
Why is it so easy to see it for others and not ourselves?
I should behave like He does have me in His hands,  so that others will see me pointing.  So that my children will see me pointing.  So that I won't give Him my worries in the morning when we meet and then take them back from Him at night when I can't sleep;
So that I can aim and steer and zero in on Him.  So That my faith would grow so big.....

He's got the whole world in His hands.

He's got everybody here in His hands,

 He's got everybody there in His hands,
We finished reading Peace Child by Don Richardson today.   We read how primitive cannibals In the 20th century were shown Christ.  It was disturbing and beautiful;  Shown through words..... And legends.
 "Peace Child's name comes from a tradition in Papua New Guinea, where, to make peace, warring tribes would exchange a child. The children would grow up with the others' tribe and in the future, when conflict threatened again, the 'Peace Child' from each tribe was sent to negotiate."  www.peacechild.org
We learned how everyone is looking for the 'Peace Child'.
We learned that God can be seen holding Papua New Guinea and Guatemala in His hands.

Funny how the week was wrapped up in these simple words, this simple song.  I feel it in the joy of the baby finally arriving in my friends tirelessly waiting arms, and the sorrow and pain in my dear friend fighting cancer.  I see it in the pictures of poverty in its purest form, I see it in the restless beach and in asking God to 'Come by Here',

I know it when I see the Extraordinary in the ordinary.

He's got everybody everywhere in His hands,

He's got the whole world in His hands.

~Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ 




...to be continued...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

"B" is for Beautiful















Our Preschool adventures.....
B is for....

...Butterflies


and Being Blind

and Bubbles

B is for Bounty

and Baskets


and Beach



B is for Baking Outside...























.......... and beans, breakfast, beef jerky, biscuits, bacon, bread, and brownies.   Mmmmmmmm....

B is for Beautiful.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Saying goodbye to summer

None of us wanted it to end.

....Sandy toes-es and sunburned noses....

Active days in the wind and sand and sun passed quickly.
Captivated by the water, the kids would sometimes go too deep or drift too far.  We would reign them in and look after each other.

It was satisfying to watch energetic kids challenge unyielding waves and sometimes getting in and braving them together.  It is exhilarating.   When the waves pummel you to the sandy bottom and you fight to come to the surface, you humbly realize how mortal you really are....and how vulnerable.

In the early mornings, I carved time alone to pray and reflect on God's blessings and how fleeting are the days of summer and the days of 'mommy'.  I indulge in the alone-ness.  The new sun spills on the water and sand like the slow dribble of syrup.

Running focused me even when my lungs were burning.






I would deliberately run along the edge of the moving water and watch as it chased me..... daring to touch my feet.  It cleared my mind and then
I would stop,
breathe deeply,
pray
and be still.

Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God.."

The pier was the prize.
Concerns at home seemed so far away except for the ones I keep tucked in my heart that go with me wherever I go.
I send them out, and up.

I wondered in amazement how God could bless such a mess.



On the last morning, I softly woke Abigail (so as not to wake her sisters) and shared my quiet paradise with her.  I think she got it.



We walked zig zag patterns in the sand
sifting through the assortment of shells

and examined, decided and chose the ones to keep... all for different reasons.


We talked.
I listened.
I don't often have her all to myself.


The splendid-ness of being thankful, really thankful, for good friends, family, and precious health.  And thankful for the opportunity to share it together.  (Thank you, Sarah.)
 "Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God..."
Psalm 50:14

At night, we pause to listen and appreciate the symphony of the ocean, the laughter of kids playing on a dark beach and really study the design of the heavens.  My camera just can't capture it.  But I try.
 It is good to stop.  Especially with moms on a similar journey.
"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren
to dwell together in unity!"
Psalm 133:1

We are all trying to wrap our heads around raising teenagers

and babies growing up.

We struggle.  We appreciate.  We say goodbye to summer together without even realizing it.

It is gratifying to talk about current events with women while our children play together.  I find value in it and don't get much time for that being a mom.  But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

We make memories with hand prints in plaster decorated with God's abundant jewelry box of shells
and go skating in an old fashioned skating rink with wood floors and open windows.


We discover turtle nests.

And mermaid tails....


We eat with our fingers.
We watch dolphins playing near the shore.  They were having a marvelous time frolicking in the waves.  Even they were delighting in the moment.....  Sea World can't compare.

I found this poem in a small used book I bought for a nickel in a quaint post office underneath the skating rink.

"Exhaust the little moment.
Soon it dies.
And be it gash or gold
It will not come again in this
identical disguise."
Gwendolyn Brooks

I delight in summer memories of silly bands,

drizzle drop castles,

sunburns, sticky chins and  the 'carefree-ness' of summer.
Just stopping and being aware is everything.

Saying goodbye is hard.

Gabrielle draws an 'a' in the sand with a broken shell.

The first letter of the alphabet,
The first letter of our pre-school adventure together (my 3rd)
and our new school year....
a new beginning.

It made me think that we are always starting again.....

on new adventures.

Monday we will plunge into school and say hello to pre- algebra and American History and try to find a balance, stride, and a rhythm...  All while trying to avoid the craziness of it all.
But just for an instant, it is nice to be still.  In the dizzying time warp of life that goes by way too fast.  If you don't pause, you will miss it.

I don't want to miss a thing.

So,  "Farewell summer".   We are going to miss you,  but we will forge on.  Time hasn't stopped...
just dwindled and dawdled a bit.

228 miles between us and home.
We were weary on the long drive,  
But not disheartened.

We all missed Daddy and Romeo.

And then...

"Hello!!!"

We were missed too. :)










It is good to be home.

"Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:7

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Don't blink.

 Or you'll miss it.



It isn't about the tea.  But it is.

The giggles shared with a friend,  pinkies in the air,  sugar and cream, being four.........

......the memories....... 





Little girls won't last long.

Neither do these small sprinkles of time.

 ......and little girls will soon grow up and have their own sprinkles.






I don't want to miss a thing.






Tea Parties are for Little Girls.....




"Take heed that you despise not one of these little ones; for I say to you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven."   Matthew 18:10